Victim Consciousness
Victim Consciousness leads us to feeling powerless when we are not completely powerless.
It prevents us from seeing where we do have some power in a situation.
Lynne Forrest talks about 7 Signs of Victimhood.
- Blaming
Blaming Others
Blaming Self
Blaming God - Victim Vocabulary
It's not fair!
I can't handle it. - Complaining/Whining
My job sucks!
Things should not be this way.
I have found that whenever I feel like complaining it is because I feel trapped in a situation I cannot change.
When I ask myself, "What about this situation do I feel like I cannot change?" my mind starts to come up with ways I can change it.) - Judging/Criticizing
They are wrong.
That was bad!
I have found that whenever I am judging someone, it is because I am afraid.
When I ask myself, "What am I afraid of?" it takes my mind off the other person and points me in the direction of a past trauma I need to neutralize. - Compare & Despair (comparing self to others)
I will never be as good as them.
I will never have what they have.
I cannot speak as well as her, so I should not say anything at all. - Constant Melodrama
- Negative Emotions
Anger (Resentment, Rage, Irritation, Annoyance)
Grief (Sadness, Hurt)
Fear (Worry, Anxiety, Terror, Dread)
Guilt is a feeling often derived from the thought that we have crossed our own moral line of conduct.
Shame is a feeling generated from thoughts of inadequacy stemming from past trauma.
(Perpetrators will often project their shame onto their victims, and then the victim ends up carrying that shame with them unknowingly.)
Embarrassment can be a painful trigger, driving us to act out using various forms of power and control.
Awareness of our feelings can allow us to turn our focus toward clarifying our needs.
Do you identify with any of these Signs of Victimhood?
For each one that I indulge in, I ask myself...
What need/s does this behavior meet, or what need/s am I trying to meet with this behavior?
Is is working? How effective is it?
What harm/damage is it causing?
How will my life play out if I continue to indulge in this behavior?
What might the final outcome look like in the end?
Do I know anyone else who indulges in this behavior and who is further along the path with it than me?
(Perhaps someone older?)
If so, what does their life look like now?