WIN-WIN METHOD
It may seem impossible at times, but it is possible for everyone to get their true needs met.
Here is an approach we can take to find cooperative solutions that meet our needs and the needs of others,
especially when it does not seem like everyone can get their needs met in a situation.
This comes from an NVC-based technique called Method 3 in the book
Parent Effectiveness Training by Thomas Gordon,
who was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize.
I call it the Win-Win Method and find that it has universal applications
(not just parenting).
- Whose problem is it?
(Identify who has a problem with the situation. It is the person, who is bothered by it.) - Express your feelings & needs about the situation authentically.
- Actively listen to the feelings & needs of the other person.
(Verbally state your understanding of their needs.) - Brainstorm solutions. (Let other person go first.)
(Think outside the box and write ALL ideas down without any censorship.) - Mutually Agree on a solution to try out.
- Mutually Agree on duties to be carried out by each person.
- Follow Up a week later to evaluate whether the solution is working to the satisfaction of everyone.
(If it is not working, be willing to make changes or select a different idea from the brainstorming list to try out.)