GENERAL SAFETY PLAN
My go-to protocol for quickly calming the nervous system in almost any situation is below.
Depending on how intense my triggered reaction is, I might do a few or all of the items listed.
- Change Location
This can include taking a 2-3 minute break, taking a 10-minute break, taking a longer break (such as 20-30 minutes or 1-2 hours), putting the phone down, stepping into another room, or going outside. - Safety Cues
- Smell
I spritz my face with Rosewater - Sight
I visually Confirm that there are no threats in the immediate environment by looking all around me:
In Front of Me
To one Side
To the Other Side
Behind Me
Above Me
Below/Beneath Me - Touch
A. Havening
Optional: I like to breath slowly and deeply, elongating the outbreath, while doing these 5 havening touches.
Optional: While doing these Havening touches, I often repeat silently or aloud: "Safe, Connected, Loved"
- Palms - I rub the palms of my hands together with the fingertips pointed upwards
- Circular Palms - I rub the palms of my hands together in a circular motion
- Arms - Crossing my arms, I brush my palms down my arms from the shoulders down to the elbows
I lift my hands off my arms as I return to the top so I am brushing in one direction only - downward - Edges of Face - Starting in the center at the top of my forehead at the edge of my hairline, I let my hands slide lightly down the edges of my face on both sides
- Into Hairline - Going a little further into the hairline now, I do the same thing, letting my hands slide down the edges of my face
B. Container
- Arm/Leg Squeeze - I gently squeeze all the muscles in my Arms (starting at the top and going down). I do this a few times.
Then, I squeeze all the muscles in my Legs (starting at the tops of my thighs and going all the way down to the ankles). I can do one leg at a time or both legs at the same time. - Brush Torso Down - I brush my Torso in a Downward Motion with Alternating Hands, starting on one side, brushing over to the front and continuing to the other side. Then, I go back in the other direction - going back and forth a few times)
- Self-Hug - I place my palms on on my shoulders or upper arms and give myself a hug, holding it for a while.
Another version of this is to put my Right Palm under my Left Armpit near my heart (with my thumb sticking up) and put my other palm on my opposite Shoulder.
Optional: I like to take 3 slow, deep breaths, elongating the outbreath, while doing the self-hug.
- Breathe
While doing the havening touches, I take at least 5 slow, deep breaths.
(I elongate the out-breath for a deeper relaxation effect.)
While doing the self-hug, I take 3 more deep breaths. - Other De-Escalation Techniques
- Change Attention
My favorite way to change attention is to do something creative. - Positive Input
I read or listen to something uplifting. - Spend Time in Nature
- Talk to a Safe Person
I talk to someone on the phone or in person - someone who is a good listener and can be empathetic and remain neutral (and impartial, if needed).