Grief Deep Clean
Below is the same format I use for resentments, modified for grief.
Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 Column 4 Column 5 Column 6
Loss Layers P&P Old Story Notes New Story
First, I go down the page and list the losses that I feel grief about in Column 1.
Then, go across the page for each loss and fill out Columns 2-6.
Column 2 = Layers of Feelings (underneath the grief)
I list the fear that I feel beneath the grief.
Then I list the love that is beneath the fear.
What is it that I loved about this person, place, thing or situation that I am grieving the loss of?
Column 3 = Prayer & Pause (P&P)
I read the resentment prayer or secular script below, inserting what/who I feel grief about in the blanks,
and then Pause and see what comes up in the form of an inspiration or intuitive thought.
Non-Christians can substitute whatever word they want for the word "God".
There is a secular version below the prayer.
GRIEF PRAYER
"I am feeling immense grief about ____________________.
God, please help me to uncover the fear that is underneath this grief -
fear perhaps that I have lost something I had and that I will never get to have it again
or fear that I won't get something I want.
Please help me uncover the love that is underneath that fear - something that I loved deeply about ___________.
God, I know that Love is eternal. Please direct my attention to the immense love that I feel and my true need that corresponds to it."
After reading the prayer, I pause and see what comes up in the form of an inspiration/intuitive thought.
I write down what came up during the pause in Column 3.
SECULAR VERSION
"I am feeling immense grief about ____________________.
I know that underneath this grief there is fear - fear perhaps that I have lost something
I had and that I will never get to have it again
or fear that I won't get something I want.
I know that underneath this fear there is love - something that I loved deeply about ___________.
I direct my attention to this immense love and my true need that corresponds to it."
After reading the script, I pause and see what comes up in the form of an inspiration/intuitive thought.
I write down what came up during the pause in Column 3.
Column 4 = Old Story
I write down what the story is that I am telling myself about each reason.
What belief do I have about what happened?
What does what happened mean about me, others, the world, or life itself?
Column 5 = Neutralizing Notes
I plug each grief into a neutralizing technique.
(I find the TAT™ especially helpful for this. See Neutralizing Approaches & Techniques.)
After neutralizing the anchor, I write down what the anchor was.
Was it the event I felt grief about or something else?
Column 6 = New Story
After re-evaluating the past, I write down my New Understanding of what happened.
What New Story or New Belief seems possible now?
I Write the new story or belief in Column 5.
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